Wednesday, February 24, 2010

Give Bad Habits the Boot - Chris Widener

Everybody has bad habits. Everybody. Now, granted, some people have less than others and some people’s bad habits are more grating than those of others, but we all have them. What is great is that we don’t have to! Imagine a life where you couldn’t change. What kind of life would that be? But we can, so let’s!

There are two kinds of bad habits: Those you know you have that others may or may not know about, and those you don’t know you have but everybody else knows you have! For the sake of everybody involved we ought to get rid of them all, right?

Well, Chris, how can I get rid of a bad habit if I don’t know I have it? Simple, but hard. Ask somebody to be brutally honest with you! You might think, “Yeah, but I’ll be embarrassed.” Would you rather everyone talk behind your back? Get up the courage and ask. Ask somebody who loves you and has your best interest in mind. Be gracious and don’t defend yourself. Just accept it and work on it.

What about the ones we know about (which are all of them once your good friend tells you the ones you were missing)? Those are the tough ones. How do I know they are tough? They must be tough if you know about them and yet you still have them! If they weren’t tough, they would be FORMER bad habits! Got me? Good!

So how do you break a bad habit? How do you give it the boot out of your life? Here are a few things that must be a part of the plan in order to see that stuff gone forever!

1. You must want them to go. That’s right; some people want them to stick around. I have seen dads choose alcohol over their grandchildren. I have seen smokers continue smoking while watching their parents die of emphysema. They don’t want them to go. The first thing is to go deep into the recesses of your heart and ask, “Do I really want to give this up?”

2. You do? Good. Step two: Make up a list of all of the reasons you want to quit your bad habits. Make them positive. Make the list long! Start with the really powerful and dramatic if you need to. Now memorize them. Put them in your mind. You are making connections between stopping the bad behavior with what good things you will get from doing so. If you want to lose weight, then picture yourself slim and looking good in those skinny-people clothes! If you want to stop smoking, picture your wife actually kissing you rather than sending you to the bathroom to brush your teeth!

3. Choose. That is right. Once you have the information, this comes down to one thing: It is an act of the will. Choose to do it. Say to yourself throughout the day, “I am choosing to….” Eisenhower rightly said, “The history of free men is written not by chance but by choice, their choice.” It is your choice. You can write your history.

4. Take action! Point four is tricky because there are two philosophies about this. One theory is that you must take massive action. You must go all or nothing. Using the weight loss example, this person would go spend $500 to join a gym, rework their schedule and hit the treadmill everyday for a year. They will get rid of all fat in the house. They go all out! That works for some. Others would burn out on that, feel like failures and be worse off than before. They should start out slow, taking baby steps, but working diligently toward a planned goal. This person would decide to start walking three days a week. They would decide to limit dessert to two nights a week, down from seven. See how this works? Either way is OK as long as you get to the goal eventually.

5. Tell somebody. This is your accountability partner. Tell them your goal and tell them your plan. Write it down for them and have them ask you at regular intervals about your progress. This will prove invaluable!

6. Recover from failure. Inevitably, most people will have setbacks. The key is to have them be setbacks and not turnbacks! Pick yourself up and get going again. Some people may want to lose 30 pounds and after losing 15 they eat a gallon of ice cream. Then they feel bad and give up. Don’t! Reset your goal for another two weeks and get going again. Chalk it up to experience! Say to yourself, “Sometimes you win and sometimes you learn.”

7. Reward yourself. That’s right. You should regularly congratulate yourself by rewarding yourself with some gift to yourself. Start small with small victories and plan a big one when you are finally and for sure over the habit.

Is it that simple? Most of the time, no. Habits are hard to break. There are so many intangibles that it would be hard to cover them all. But this is a simple and workable plan that will help you make great strides if you apply the principles.
Get going! Give those bad habits the boot! Good luck!

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

From That’s Life --- Frank Sinatra

Dealing with adversity is never easy for anyone. All of us have faced struggles in our careers and personal lives that have challenged our resolved, our commitment and our true character. Seneca, the Roman philosopher, once said, “Things that are hard to bear, are sweet to remember.”

But what are the best ways to deal with adversity? Like anything we do in life, there are guidelines to follow to make sure we correctly deal with the problem at hand.

Here are some basic rules of dealing with adversity as the leader:


1. Always remember that no matter how good or how bad things are, they are going to get better.

2. Believe in yourself, because if you don't believe in yourself, then why should others believe in you? You cannot lose confidence.

3. Never, ever, ever give up! Churchill is right!!!

4. You only have one life, so make it the best you can possibly make it. Every day, make it a small goal to improve in one area of life -- learn one new thing.

5. Do not, under any circumstances, let everyone else talk you into doing stuff that you know you should not do. Never let ambition or money take away from your principles.

6. If you do find yourself folding under stress and are finding life a bit of a struggle, seek help from a person you trust. Do not be afraid to call a friend, to call someone for help.

7. To succeed, you need something to hold on to, something to motivate you, something to inspire you. Search for your passion, search for your love of life.

8. Be persistent and resilient. When you are tired and you feel you cannot go another step, reach deep inside and press on. Persistence will always win.

9. Success in life is not a destination, it is a journey that you define, not others.

10. Life is about Love, Inspiration, Faith/Endeavour and giving back to others.

...and here is Frank Sinatra with one of his all-time favorites, "That's Life":



Video Link: That's Life - By Frank Sinatra 

Monday, February 15, 2010

No Room for Excuses by Ron White

Love this post and how fitting as it is PRESIDENT'S SAY!

“The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.” You have heard it a million times. However, my guess is that you have never heard it from the mouth of the “rich.” Instead, this echo has most likely bounced to your ear with its origins being an excuse. That’s right... an excuse. Excuses are what many use to pacify their guilt of not accomplishing what they are capable of.

I am not suggesting that wealth is success. My inference is that success is the progressive realization of predetermined worthwhile goals. It may be something as simple as raising a family.

What do these names have in common?
Richard Nixon
Gerald Ford
Jimmy Carter
Ronald Reagan
Bill Clinton


They were all President of the United States, right? They were all the most powerful man in the world at one point. However, I am looking for something else.

Richard Nixon was born in the home his father built. He won an award from Harvard his senior year of high school. However, his family was unable to afford his leaving home for college. He instead attended Whittier College.

Gerald Ford was born as Leslie Lynch King, Jr. In 1913 his mother left her abusive husband and took her son to live with her parents. She met Gerald R. Ford, whom she married and gave her child his name Gerald Rudolph Ford, Jr. He was the only President to be adopted. Ford worked in his stepfather's paint and varnish store growing up. He coached boxing during college to afford his tuition.

Jimmy Carter was the first member of his family ever to go to college and his father was a peanut farmer.

Ronald Reagan was the son of an alcoholic traveling shoe salesman. He worked his way into show business by broadcasting baseball games. At the age of 40, he was divorced and his career was at a dead end.

Bill Clinton was born William Jefferson Blythe IV. His father (a traveling salesmen) died in an automobile accident three months before he was born. His mother married Roger Clinton and Bill took that name. Clinton grew up in a turbulent family. His stepfather was a gambler and alcoholic who regularly abused his wife, and sometimes Clinton's half brother Roger.

None of these men were born into wealth and prosperity, yet they each achieved the rank of most powerful person in the world by working hard and not making excuses. These five presidents were born into normal families who struggled. Yet, they refused to use that as an excuse.

Life is too short to make excuses. Set your goals and pursue them. If you have been dealt a “worse” hand than another, it may indeed be a gift that teaches you the value of hard work. Your story will be richer and your success sweeter when you achieve your dreams. Maybe one day I will cast a vote for you as President of The United States!

Sunday, February 14, 2010

The Best Gift You Can Give Your Spouse or Significant Other

Recharging Your Relationship by Chris Widener

Now you may ask why I would write an article about developing better relationships. The reason is because I believe that those who are in a relationship will be significantly and directly affected in all areas of their life by how that relationship is going, and how healthy that relationship is.

Research has proven that those who are happy at home are more productive and less stressful at work. Developing a better relationship with your mate can help you develop a better life and a better business! Here are some thoughts to chew on for developing a strong and healthy relationship with your mate.

Listen. Communication is the key to a lasting relationship and listening is the key to communicating. Too often when we are quiet we are not listening, but waiting to speak. Instead of listening to what our mate is saying, and intently trying to understand them, very often we are making mental notes of what we would like to say in response. This is particularly true for us males. We often are trying to find the weakness in our mate's argument, rather than really listening to the words that they're saying and the manner in which they're saying it. Why not take some time this week trying to internalize and understand your mate's words and feelings?

Schedule a regular time to go out or spend time together.
With today's busy lifestyles, it is too easy to put our relationships on the backburner and take them for granted. While we might have every intention of spending regular time with our mate, we often find ourselves driven by a schedule that has us running in every direction and leaving us little time for our most important relationships. Work gets in the way. The kids get in the way. Our hobbies get in the way. We need to realize the value in the importance of that relationship with our mate and its effect on our total life. Then we need to make spending time with our mate a major priority by scheduling a specific time at least each week to get alone together, talk, and simply renew our relationship. Be sure to set some time aside each week to rediscover each other and enjoy your time together. Pencil it into your schedule and don't give up that spot. In fact, it is probably best if you and your mate sit down and decide what night will work each and every week, then put it into your daytimer. If someone asks you if you're available at that time, you tell them you already have an appointment. In the long run, that time that you spend with your mate will help you to become more of a success than you could ever mention.

Consider your mate's interests more important than your own.
When each person has decided to give of themselves to the other, you form a reciprocating relationship of love, concern, and devotion. When you come to a place where you disagree or where the two of you have differing opinions, try to get to the point where you can consider what your mate likes as more important than what you would like to do. The simple decision to do this goes a long way toward developing a healthy relationship!

Learn your mate's love language. There is a lot of talk recently of love languages. What this is, is that each individual has certain ways they receive love from other people. Some people like to have time spent with them. Others like gifts, small or large. Still others respond best to personal touch. And others appreciate verbal affirmation. Our tendency is to show love the way that we like to receive love, but what will recharge our relationship fastest is to find out what way our mate likes to receive affirmations of our love. The next time you get a chance to speak to your mate, ask which of the above ways they like best to receive your demonstration of love. Then make a conscious effort to begin showing your love in that manner.

Do the small things you did when you first fell in love with your mate. Do remember when you were first in love? Remember the small things you did to show your love? But as time went along, you probably began to get weighed down with simply living life and forgot the small things that made the difference in the beginning. Things like a phone call in the middle of the day just to talk or say "I love you," an appreciative note, flowers, gifts, and opening doors. Recharge your relationship by consciously going back and doing the small things that you did when your love first began to grow.

Forgive. I've done a lot of work with couples having troubles, and one of the most common elements I find that is working against the development of their relationship is that they are holding something against the other and they aren't willing to forgive. The fact is that your mate is going to fail you from time to time. We need to understand that. What we do when we get to that point however, is what will make all the difference in the world. In a relationship that is going to last, the people involved are committed to forgiving one another. Those whose relationships last longest, and will be the healthiest, are those who are committed to forgiveness.

I hope these thoughts are helpful to you in recharging and/or continuing your love relationship. I truly believe that if we will put these principles into practice we will see our relationships grow in ways they never have before, and that in turn will make our whole life better.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Making the Most of Today by Denis Waitley

This is Excerpted from The Psychology of Motivation

What each of us is doing this minute is the most important event in history for us. We have decided to invest our resources in THIS opportunity rather than in any other.

It is helpful to remember this when we consider the passage of time. As the years pass, I am acutely aware that the bird of time is on the wing. At my high school reunion, I saw people who claimed to be my former classmates. We all had big name tags printed in capital letters so we wouldn't have to squint with our reading glasses on trying to associate the name with each well-traveled face. It was only yesterday that I was really enjoying high school. What had happened to the four decades in between? Where had they flown?

To the side of the bandstand, where the big-band sound of the late 1940s and 50s blared our favorite top-ten hits, there was a poster with a printed verse for all of us to see. I read the words aloud:

*There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept free from fear and apprehension.

*One of these days is YESTERDAY, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains. Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control. All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday. We cannot undo a single act we performed or erase a single word we said. Yesterday is gone.

*The other day we should not worry about is TOMORROW, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and its poor performance. Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.

*This leaves only one day, TODAY. Anyone can fight the battles of just one day. It is only when you and I add the burdens of those two awful eternities - Yesterday and Tomorrow - that we break down.

*It is not the experience of Today that drives us mad, it is remorse and bitterness for something which happened yesterday and the dread of what tomorrow may bring. Let us therefore… Live this one full TODAY.

Malcolm Forbes believed the important thing is "never say die until you're dead," and he lived that example to the hilt. It is, as we realize when we suddenly attend our high school reunion, a short journey.

But it is difficult to be depressed and active at the same time. So get active! Live TODAY.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Is It Possible?

LIVING/WORKING FROM HOME:

YES, IT IS POSSIBLE...Are you ready to do something that will make a difference in your life? We’re here to help you! We have the plan, and the steps are all laid out. It's not a big secret. We know where you want to go, and if you follow the plan, you will succeed!

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING FORWARD TO EACH DAY:
> Another Day Of Waking Up To An Alarm Clock?
> Another Day Of Dropping Your Kids Off At Daycare?
> Another Day Of Going To Work For Someone Else?
> Another Day Of A Fixed/Limited Income?
> Another Day Of Not Being Spent W/ Your Family?
> Another Year Of Limited Vacation Time Or W/ Out A Vacation Altogether?
> Another Day Spent In Fear Of Your Future?

VS.

WHAT CAN YOU LOOK FORWARD TO EACH DAY:
> Waking Up Each Day W/ A New Outlook On Life And W/ A Smile On Your Face
> Being There To See Your Kids Grow Up
> Going To Work For Yourself...No Boss Looking Over Your Shoulder Each Day
> Having The Ability For An Unlimited Income
> Having Time To Spend W/ Your Family
> The Time And Money To Take Vacations For As Long As You Want And When You Want
> Making Real Plans For The Future

If this is the lifestyle you want, how are you going to get there from where you are today?

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3. Add to your retirement savings
4. Take a longer vacation
5. Help save for a rainy day
6. Pay off your mortgage quicker
7. Be a stay-at-home mom or allow your spouse to stay at home
8. Earn additional money to help you buy the car or home of your dreams