The 9 P’s of Winning

Want to know what all the most successful business people, athletes, celebrities and politicians know?

Author Frank I. Luntz says WINNERS (not the Charlie Sheen kind) possess nine common principles that anyone can incorporate in their own life. It’s no magic potion. It’s these essentials:

People Centeredness – Paradigm Breaking – Prioritization — Perfection –Partnership — Passion — Persuasion — Persistence — Principled Action

1) People-Centeredness: Winners know what makes people tick, and they connect either to our fears or our aspirations—or both. The job of all winning communicators is to recognize what is missing in others’ lives and then try to address it. Winners help us imagine the possibilities that change our realities. The people-centered approach is to address, resolve, and alleviate personal pain—to focus on “solutions” rather than the management of the problem.

Winning Trait: Discover what people need and help them get it.

2) Paradigm Breaking: Winners are not improvers; they are game-changers. Remember, as much as we say we want change, it is natural to resist it. As human beings, we innately fear the unknown, even if we simultaneously embrace it. The best communicators know how to position their new product or idea as an improvement that people should expect to have—not a burden they’ll have to bear.

Winning Trait: Present change as an improvement, not a burden.

3) Prioritization: They (winners) know how to separate what must be done from what should be done—and that has a direct correlation to what they say and when they say it. In fact, identifying and effectively articulating priorities may be the single most important component of successful communication. Winners prioritize their messages. In fact, in the era of texting and Twitter, the longer you speak, the less people hear.

Winning Trait: Carefully select what you say and what you do.

4) Perfection: If you’re not driven to perfection, you’ll never reach excellence. It’s one thing to work sixteen-hour days because you have to. It’s another to work sixteen-hour days because you want to. Winners who are passionate about their work don’t mind a sixteen-hour day if that’s what it takes for them to be the best they can possibly be.

Winning Trait: You don’t have to be perfect. But you have to be your very best.

5) Partnership: No one is perfect. Honest, open communication is paramount for a partnership to survive. Without it, trust and respect will simply wither. Partnerships thrive on achieving the right balance that maximizes the “good” and minimizes the “bad” that each side brings to the relationship.

Winning Trait: Don’t let “bad” fester. Communicate clearly with your partner and turn it into “good.”

6) Passion: There isn’t a winner anywhere who doesn’t bring passion to what they do or how they communicate. 

There are three language attributes at play:
- First, they communicate confidence in themselves and in their products;
- Second, the message always rests on results and solutions; and
- Third, there is a clear call to action at the end.

But passion is about more than just words and languages. Effectively communicating passion requires focus on style and delivery.

Winning Trait: Passion isn’t something you just have; it’s something you share.

7) Persuasion: Winners don’t preach; they persuade. They tell you exactly why you should accept their point of view, yet you feel like you came to their conclusions on your own.

Winning Trait: Persuasion is explaining why an idea is great; not how it’s their great idea.

8) Persistence: Winners know how to succeed over the long haul. In fact, they know that winning is defined by repeat performances and increasing achievements. Winners never give up, never accept defeat, and work as long and as hard as it takes to get the job done right. Winners commonly say, “Don’t tell me why I can’t do it. Tell me how I can get it done.”

Winning Trait: Persist until you perspire.

9) Principled Action: What good is winning at work if you lose at life? The concluding chapter puts in perspective the essential nature of a set of the guiding principles that define true winners. It focuses on those who gave up their morality, humanity, and decency in the chase for success—and how they fell from grace because winning wasn’t just everything, it was the only thing.

Winning Trait: Winning is whole-life success in all areas, not just one.

Shaking Hands

When meeting someone for the first time, the first form of contact we have with them would be the handshake. Everyone knows how to shake hands but in order for you to look confident and leave a lasting first impression through this pre-conversational gesture, here are some guidelines that you should follow.

1. Be Ready: Approach the other person with your hand already extended. Make the first move and do this in one movement to look confident and assured.

2. Make Eye Contact and Smile: When shaking their hand, make eye contact with them and remember to smile. Studies have repeatedly shown that maintaining eye contact for a mere 3 seconds can make the other person develop positive feelings for you. By smiling, you lighten the atmosphere and make them feel comfortable around you.

3. Use the Right Strength: When shaking their hand, grasp their hand firmly but not tightly. A tight handshake may lead to discomfort for the other party, especially for older individuals. Try to match the grip of the other person for the optimal handshake.

4. No Sweaty Palms: If you tend to have sweaty palms, make it a point to keep them dry especially when you see someone approaching or you are about to approach someone. A handshake with a sweaty palm is definitely not the best way to leave a good first impression.

5. Use Your Right Hand: It is tradition that we shake hands with our right hand. This is the case even for left-handers. If you are at a company dinner (or any similar social event), always carry your beverage in your left hand. This leaves your right hand dry and free for handshakes.

6. Adapt to The Different Types Of Handshakes: Different people have different ways of shaking hands. In fact, in different countries, handshakes are done very much differently. The most common handshake is a brisk up-down motion but there are many variations to this. For example, some people shake hands with their left hand placed on top of the two clasped hands to provide additional warmth. Others may continue shaking hands for several seconds. My suggestion would be to adapt to the other person’s version of the handshake and go with the flow.

7. Have Something To Say: When shaking hands, remember to always have some introductory line to say. A silent handshake can be rather awkward and you would also lose the chance to build some familiarity right from the start. What you could do is to maintain eye contact with the other person and say something like “it’s nice to meet you” or “how do you do?”

‎3 Simple Rules for a Networking Game Plan:

1. Be curious; ask questions and LISTEN to the answers. People love a good listener who is sincerely interested in what they do.

2. Learn from everybody...Talk with people at ALL levels because everyone can teach you something.

3. Cultivate contacts; with people in power who can bring you ideas, support and opportunities, and people who enjoy making money and whose HEARTS and interests are like your own.

Oh yea and don't forget: ENJOY YOUR COMMUNICATION!!!

Self-Discipline

Self-discipline is a pattern of behavior where you choose to do what you know you should do, rather than what you want to do. It’s the inner power that pushes you to get out of bed to exercise rather than sleeping in. It is the assertion of willpower over more basic desires and is synonymous with self-control.

It includes having the personal initiative to get started and the stamina to persevere. Being disciplined gives you the strength to withstand hardships and difficulties, whether physical, emotional or mental. It allows forgoing immediate satisfaction, in order to gain something better, but which requires effort and time.

Discipline is one of the cornerstones to living a successful and fulfilling life and something we should all strive to master.

Benefits of becoming a disciplined person

When you are consistent in doing the things you know you should do, when you know you should do them, here are the benefits you will enjoy:

• You will achieve your goals. When you are consistent in doing the things you know you should do, your odds of achieving your goals will be dramatically increased.

• You self-esteem will soar. Every time you push yourself to do something you know you should do, you are building your self-esteem.

• People’s respect for you will grow. This includes everyone from your spouse to your employer who witnesses your efforts.

• You will influence the lives of others. Every good and right thing you do, influences the lives of those who are watching and can have a ripple effect on future generations.

• You will see greater success in all areas of your life. Jim Rohn said, “For every disciplined effort there is a multiple return.” Think about it.

• You will enjoy a more rewarding and satisfying life.

Downside of lacking discipline

When you consistently neglect to do the things you know you should do, when they should be done, here’s the downside:

• You won’t achieve your goals. I’ve never met anyone who achieved any worthwhile goal who lacked discipline.

• You won’t feel good about yourself. No matter how hard you try to justify your actions, you know what’s right and wrong. Lying to yourself only makes it worse.

• You’ll lose the respect of those who are dependent upon your actions.

Making the decision to become a disciplined person may prove to be one of the most important decisions you make because of its powerful influence on every part of your life.

A commitment to discipline

The first step in becoming a disciplined person is to make a commitment to yourself that from this day forward you are going to do the things you know you should do, when you should do them. As part of this commitment, you cannot allow yourself to make excuses or justify not doing what you should do.

If you struggle with discipline, start small. It’s how we all got started. Start by taking out the overflowing garbage, answering an email, changing the light bulb, or cleaning your bathroom. Start today doing all the little things you know you should do, but don’t feel like doing.

When you need to do things that make you uncomfortable, remember the wise words of leadership expert Dr. John Maxwell who said, “If we’re growing, we’re always going to be out of our comfort zone.”

When things come up that are scary, heed the experience of Dale Carnegie who said, “Do the thing you fear to do and keep on doing it… that is the quickest and surest way ever yet discovered to conquer fear.”

Becoming a discipline person will likely be the hardest thing you do, but it can also become the most rewarding. All successes in every part of your life are built on the foundation of discipline.

I want to challenge you to start doing the little things you know you should do. As you do, recognize yourself for each thing you do. With constant awareness and sustained effort you can actually train yourself to become disciplined.

This is not the first time I have blogged on the importance of discipline, and it won’t be the last. Of the over 1000 little things on my list, nothing has a higher dollar value to the market than discipline.

Discipline is one of the key differentiators separating those who live successful and fulfilling lives from those who don’t.

"The Rich Get Richer"

“The rich get richer and the poor get poorer.” You have heard it a million times. However, my guess is that you have never heard it from the mouth of the “rich.” Instead, this echo has most likely bounced to your ear with its origins being an excuse. That’s right... an excuse. Excuses are what many use to pacify their guilt of not accomplishing what they are capable of.

I am not suggesting that wealth is success. My inference is that success is the progressive realization of predetermined worthwhile goals. It may be something as simple as raising a family.

What do these names have in common?
Richard Nixon
Gerald Ford
Jimmy Carter
Ronald Reagan
Bill Clinton

They were all president of the United States, right? They were all the most powerful man in the world at one point. However, I am looking for something else.

Richard Nixon was born in the home his father built. He won an award from Harvard his senior year of high school. However, his family was unable to afford his leaving home for college. He instead attended Whittier College.

Gerald Ford was born as Leslie Lynch King Jr. In 1913 his mother left her abusive husband and took her son to live with her parents. She met Gerald R. Ford, whom she married and he gave her child his name Gerald Rudolph Ford Jr. He was the only president to be adopted. Ford worked in his stepfather’s paint and varnish store growing up. He coached boxing during college to afford his tuition.

Jimmy Carter was the first member of his family ever to go to college and his father was a peanut farmer.

Ronald Reagan was the son of an alcoholic traveling shoe salesman. He worked his way into show business by broadcasting baseball games. At the age of 40, he was divorced and his career was at a dead end.

Bill Clinton was born William Jefferson Blythe IV. His father (a traveling salesman) died in an automobile accident three months before he was born. His mother married Roger Clinton and Bill took that name. Clinton grew up in a turbulent family. His stepfather was a gambler and alcoholic who regularly abused his wife, and sometimes Clinton’s half brother Roger.

None of these men were born into wealth and prosperity, yet they each achieved the rank of most powerful person in the world by working hard and not making excuses. These five presidents were born into normal families who struggled. Yet, they refused to use that as an excuse.

Life is too short to make excuses. Set your goals and pursue them. If you have been dealt a “worse” hand than another, it may indeed be a gift that teaches you the value of hard work. Your story will be richer and your success sweeter when you achieve your dreams. Maybe one day I will cast a vote for you as president of the United States.

How To Be A Top Achiever

10 Attitudes of Top Achievers 

If you believe/feel/think the same way as the top achievers believe/feel/think, you will begin to get the same results they do. Here are 10 psychological and practical ways to mirror the attitudes of top achiever, time to get to work and make any necessary changes needed:

1. Don’t see yourself as a “salesperson”, rather see yourself as a consultant. Believe/feel/think you are a problem-solver with regard to your product/service and how the client can best use it.

2. Become a doctor of relationships & consulting with your clients, customers and prospects. Act in the best interests of your “patients” and have a high code of ethics.

3. See yourself as the president of your own relationship “sales”/consulting corporation. Accept 100 percent responsibility for your results.

4. Commit yourself to being the best in your field. Dedicate yourself to lifelong learning. A little personal development every day goes a long way to making yourself better!

5. Be ambitious, hungry, and determined to use your business as a steppingstone to the success you want in life…do something different, GO ABOVE & BEYOND THE NORM!

6. Have integrity. Be honest with yourself and others.

7. Engage in thorough preparation prior to every call.

8. Be an excellent listener; be extremely client/customer/prospect-focused. If you build/cultivate a more personal relationship with them, they’ll tell you what they want/need.

9. Have tremendous courage. Be willing to face your fears of rejection and failure, and overcome them. Go for no; the more No’s you get the more Yes’s you’ll get as well!

10. Be highly persistent. Start your workday earlier, work harder, and stay longer.

To make these changes work for you consistently; you must walk, talk and behave consistently with them every hour of every day.

The Best Gift to Give Yourself and Others by Jim Rohn

I’m often asked the question, "How can I best help my children, spouse, family member, staff member, friend, etc., improve/change?" In fact, that might be the most frequently asked question I receive, "How can I help change someone else?"

My answer often comes as a surprise and here it is. The key to helping others is to help yourself first. In other words, the best contribution I can make to someone else is my own personal development. If I become 10 times wiser, 10 times stronger, think of what that will do for my adventure as a father... as a grandfather... as a business colleague.

The best gift I can give to you, really, is my ongoing personal development. Getting better, getting stronger, becoming wiser. I think parents should pick this valuable philosophy up. If the parents are okay, the kids have an excellent chance of being okay. Work on your personal development as parents—that’s the best gift you can give to your children.

If you have ever ridden in an airplane, then you might have noticed the oxygen compartment located above every seat. There are explicit instructions that say, "In case of an emergency, first secure your own oxygen mask and then if you have children with you secure their masks." Take care of yourself first... then assist your children. If we use that same philosophy throughout our whole parental life, it would be so valuable.

If I learn to create happiness for myself, my children now have an excellent chance to be happy. If I create a unique lifestyle for myself and my spouse, that will be a great example to serve my children.

Self-development enables you to serve, to be more valuable to those around you; for your child... your business... your colleague... your community... your church.

That’s why I teach development skills. If you keep refining all the parts of your character (yourself, your health, etc.) so that you become an attractive person to the marketplace, you’ll attract opportunity. Opportunity will then begin to seek you out. Your reputation will begin to precede you and people will want to do business with you. All of that possibility is created by working on the philosophy that success is something you attract by continually working on your own personal development.

3 Things to A Better Attitude

You know this is true...3 simple things to do to change your attitude and outlook on life!

I am extremely leery of any quick fix solution or overnight formula for success. In my opinion, they just don't exist. With that said, the following formula is one that I have shared with close friends and members of my family to encourage them to break through the rut they have been in and begin to experience success. Therefore, if I would share it with my family and close friends, I must believe in the principles. I suggested they begin to regularly do these three things:

1. Friends/Acquaintances: Surround themselves with positive people who believe this life is not all that there is. Even though this message goes out all over the world I know people don't all share the same faith in all cases. This message is not about my faith or your faith, it is about finding a group of of positive people and have a belief that there is more to life than what we can actually see...and I feel this is the the first step to a positive outlook on life!

2. Personal Fitness/Exercise: Yes, exercise weekly in order to stimulate endorphins and maintain an energetic life. Let's face it walking to the kitchen or curling 12 ounces does not count as exercise. It's easier than one would think; running 1 mile a couple of times a week and maybe 2-3 days a week of strength training. This is not difficult, but it does make a major difference in attitude.

3. Education/Reading: Educate through reading. Did you know the average CEO or business leader reads 4-5 books per month?  Did you know the average American reads 1 BOOK per year and 60% don't get past the first chapter?  Alarming to say the least!  Make a promise to yourself to read at least 1 book per month, whether it's 20-30 minutes a day in the morning or before you go to bed, just read anything because it does make a difference in your brain building and brain strengthening!

Regardless of what you decide to read, develop a passion for reading and learning, and you will see your attitude and outlook on life begin to change for the better. Any person who faithfully invested their time in these areas may not break world records in levels of success. However, everything in me believes they would see dramatic improvements and because I believe in these 3 things so much, I encourage my family to invest their time in these areas...DO IT, IT CAN'T HURT!

Are You Persevering? It Will Lead to Your Success!

Perseverance is not an issue of talent. It is not an issue of time. It is about finishing. Talent provides hope for accomplishment, but perseverance guarantees it.

Here is a great story on perseverance as written by Dr. John C. Maxwell:

Running Past Failure:

As a small child, Vonetta (Jeffrey) Flowers dreamed about being in the Olympics. She ran everywhere she went, and gained a reputation among her school friends for being quick. At age nine, Vonetta learned she had special talent. While trying out for an inner-city track club in her hometown of Birmingham, she shocked coaches by posting the best sprint time for Jonesboro Elementary School, running faster than boys two years older than she was!

Vonetta's immense talent carried her to the University of Alabama-Birmingham on a track-and-field scholarship. While at the university, she continued to pursue her goal of gaining a spot on the Olympic team. She practiced meticulously to perfect her stride, spent hours in the weight room adding strength, and ran grueling intervals to shave seconds off her sprint times. Thanks to her combination of talent and discipline, Vonetta ended her college career as a seven-time All-American, competing in the 100 meter and 200 meter sprints, long jump, triple jump, heptathlon, and relays.

With her college career finished, Vonetta set her sights on the 1996 Olympics. Unfortunately, she failed to qualify for the team, running slightly behind the leaders. The failure stung, but Vonetta was determined not to give up. She found a job as an assistant coach and continued her regimen of training.

For the next four years, Vonetta put her body through punishing workouts with an eye on the 2000 Olympics in Sydney. In her words, "I devoted countless hours to lifting weights, eating right, and staying mentally tough. I knew that my time as an athlete was coming to an end, and I'd hoped that the 2000 Olympic trials would prove to be my year to finally find out what it's like to be an Olympian."

In June 2000, Vonetta lined up again to run at the U.S. Olympic Trials. Unfortunately, Vonetta placed 13th, and she failed to make the Olympic squad. Although one of the fastest women in America, she wasn't in the select group to represent the United States in Sydney. After 17 years of training, she had come up empty in her quest for the Olympics.

Two days after her second painful failure in the Olympic Trials, Vonetta's husband spotted an advertisement for tryouts for the United States Olympic bobsled team. He convinced her to go to the tryouts. Growing up in the South, Vonetta was not accustomed to cold and snow, and she knew next to nothing about bobsledding. However, at the tryouts her unusual blend of speed and strength proved to be ideal qualities for a brakewoman (the person who pushes the bobsled to give it initial momentum and then hops in with the driver). Vonetta was chosen for the team.

Vonetta's decision to join the bobsled team came with a price—two more years of a strict diet, sore muscles, and countless hours dedicated to attaining peak physical fitness. It also meant delaying her dream to be a mom. However, her years of perseverance paid off. Not only did Vonetta achieve her lifelong goal of competing in the Olympics, but she also became the first African-American to win a gold medal in the winter Olympics!

Perseverance punctuates talent:

 
Vonetta's talent seemed almost limitless, but it wouldn't have carried her to the Olympics without an admirable measure of perseverance. Life seems designed to make a person quit. For even the most talented individual, obstacles abound, and failures are commonplace. Only when a person matches talent with perseverance do opportunities become avenues of success.

Perseverance means succeeding because you are determined to, not destined to:

If Vonetta had seen her Olympic dream as a matter of destiny, then she likely would have given up after her second failure to make the track and field team. After 17 years of training, the results signaled that her dream wasn't meant to be. She had no natural reason to be hopeful about her prospects. However, she pressed on, determined to find a way to take hold of her goals, and in the end, she was rewarded with success.

Perseverance means stopping, not because you're tired, but because the task is done:

Perseverance doesn't come into play until a person is tired. A year or two after college, Vonetta still was riding the excitement of her collegiate track and field championships. She was young, energetic, and optimistic about the future. Nothing was telling her to stop, and consequently she needed nothing extra to keep going.

However, after a taste of disappointment at the Olympic Trials, fatigue and discouragement crept up on Vonetta. The mountain of work in front of her began to look more and more daunting, and her dream began to be a little harder to imagine. Nonetheless, Vonetta persevered. She kept believing, she kept training, and she kept running until she finally caught up with success.

Success Is Everything

Yea, I know it’s been over a month since my last blog post, so here goes; this is something I actually came across this morning and it is a GREAT one.  One that I feel it is terribly appropriate as we approach the end of the calendar year.  Now, before you read it…take a moment to ask yourself, have you done and are you doing everything you can to improve all phases of your life and become a success in those phases?  If not, why not?  Remember there are opportunities out there to assist you in achieving the success that you desire...don't let them pass you by, just GO DO IT!

 

By Jim Rohn

Someone once said to me that success isn't everything, and I think I know what they really meant. I believe they really meant that money wasn't everything, and I certainly agree with that. But I do believe that success IS everything.

First you need to succeed to survive. We must take the seasons and learn how to use them with the seed, the soil and the rain of opportunity to learn how to sustain ourselves and our family.

But then second is to then succeed to flourish in every part of your life. Good question to ask mature people: "If you could do better, should you?" And I think almost everybody would answer the question in the positive. If you could improve your health, shouldn't you do that? If you can learn more, shouldn't you do that? If you could earn more and share more, shouldn't you do that? If you can improve your relationships and spirituality, shouldn't you do that? And I think that is what success is really all about. It is not just a destination that is set for everybody to try and go for.

It is like Zig Ziglar said, "Improving in every area of your life to see if you can with satisfaction at the end of the day, week, month and year, say ‘I have made excellent progress this year, for myself, for my family, for my business, my career and my health.'" I think that kind of success everybody recognizes is legitimate and something we should all strive for.

Interesting phrase in the Bible that says strive for perfection—not that we can ever reach it. But it is in the striving, to be a little bit better today than yesterday, in our speech, our language, our health, everything we can possibility think of.

So yes, in my opinion, success is everything!